Stepbrother has his eyes on me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 24-year-old girl, and I am living with my father. Recently, he married a woman who is much older than he is.

My father and I have lived at his home since I was a child. One day my mother took me to my grandmother and told her that she got an opportunity to go abroad that she could not pass up. When I was nine years old, my grandmother became ill. My father was living with a woman, and he took me from my grandmother and brought me to Kingston. The woman my father was living with said that she didn't want to be responsible for a child and she would have preferred if my father had brought home a son. So my father told her that she could not ignore me, and she would have to get accustomed to living with us.

A few weeks after, the lady packed her belongings and left. My father had many relationships. Women came and slept in the house with him, and he told me he was only testing them out to see whether they loved me. My father was a good father to me. When I was in school, he attended parent-teacher association meetings and parents' day events at the school.

Eventually, my father became involved with this woman, who he has married. She has two children, a boy and a girl. They have been living here, too. Recently, I had to rebuke the boy, who is a soldier. He looked at me and said that since we were growing up, he loves me and he would want us to be in a relationship. But we would have to be quiet about it. I told him that I would have to talk to my father about that. But I am not interested in him. I did not tell my father, but I spoke to his mother, and she said he was passing his place. But I only told her because of what happened. I was looking at my mirror and he came up behind me and put his arm around me. I could feel that he had an erection, so I turned around and said "I will burst your face." So I spoke to his mother, who begged me not to say anything to my father. She said I should remember that I am an attractive girl and we are not blood related. I was disappointed in what she said. To this day, I haven't said anything to my father because I know he would ask him not to come back to the house.

So I am asking you to tell me what I should do.

R.M.

Dear R.M.,

When this guy's mother said you should remember you are not blood related, I do not believe that she meant that you should have a relationship with him. Perhaps she meant that she was not surprised that he would want to have a relationship with you because you are attractive. She could not mean that she would sanction this man's behaviour. However, if he tries to assault you again, you should not hide it from your father. You should tell him about it. I am glad his mother has treated you very well and accepted you as her daughter.

This young man, by his stupid behaviour, can cause the good relationship that you have with his mother to be destroyed.

Pastor